flâneur: “from the French masculine noun flâneur—which has the basic meanings of "stroller", "lounger", "saunterer", "loafer"… or "a person who walks the city in order to experience it". (wiki.com)
la flâness: sexier, female version of the above.Archive for March 21, 2010
“Ella es… Panties“ & Philosophical Meandering
So the other day I forgot my new friends name!
It was not so much that I forgot it, but that I had so enjoyed her nickname all those days back in Guadalajara, that I had just essentially neglected to learn it. I suppose.
And as ridiculous as that might sound, it is just so common among travellers! We are meeting gazillions of new people and seeing dozens of new places every day! Also, we are usually enjoying a pretty relaxed state of mind, and likely drinking a fair amount. THAT was the whole point of the `city names` game (refer to Guadalajara posts!), and why I never learned B`s name in the first place!
Well anyway, this all bit me in the ass when I got to Stoner`s the other night. I was in the midst of checking in when I ran into her – elated at the surprise, we`d run off together for a minute, done a quick catch-up, and then she`d gone to finish up cooking our dinner. When I came back to the cabañas to finish checking in, I asked if I could have the one near my friend. “Yes, of course, who is your friend?“ the lovely and beautiful young German manager lady asked me.
“Ummm…“ was all I could say a first, before spitting out something like, “Panties. Um.. haha, yes, that`s kind of her city name, you know, translated to English and I call her that, uhhh…“
She and the other two men standing around just stared at me, so very confused… as I stumbled over every word I`d just said…
“OH!“ she said after a moment (there was only really one other girl there), “You mean Bettina! Your friend… is Bettina…?“
She was obviously questioning if I was lying entirely seeing as I hadn`t even the first name of my supposed `friend`. But that was fine. I figured silence, at this point, was better than any more words I could possibly spit out to justify THAT one.
And though I loved B just the same, and she I, a question kind of dawned on me over the next few days as I lived and breathed the life of a lone traveller, and reevaluated my most beloved old and new acquaintances…
How well do we actually know the people we travel with? Or, more precisely, meet on the road.
And the answer is obvious: In essence, not very well at all!
But travelling together is of the most intense experiences two, or a group of people can have together. Your bond grows quickly - you`re all on your travel high, likely in a good mood most of the time (something to do with all that free time… I dunno), and most every experience you share is new and thrilling!
Not only is it a hyper-powered way of getting to know somebody (about two months to the day, Panties and I decided), but also an excercise in trust. You are sleeping, eating and leaving your personal things with these people every time you get up to use the washroom at a restaurant, or use the shower. And what is more, it`s usually under the guise that they too, are travelling: It is assumed that people who travel this way are usually of “like-minds“ and also have their trust in you. They wouldn`t dream of stealing your things because they know how easily their own things could be stolen. Quite simply, it`s bad karma.
So over the countless hours we backpackers and travellers have spent together on empty beaches and in busy cafes, sharing everything from life stories, philosophical thoughts, plans and dreams… is it a genuine connection we`ve been hatching? Or just some artificial exchange of energy simply because we have the time?
How well can we possibly know one another when even our name can be so quickly lost? Or our reputation among new friends so quickly shattered?
And if something goes wrong, lost, or missing, who`s to blame?Personally, I think the choice itself is a marvellous test of ability and personal responsibility – and reality for that matter: to trust or not to trust those around you; who, and to what extent. And besides, it`s the nature of connecting over travel… I suppose you just never know!
But that`s just me.
Happy Voyages! 
